Sally

Awhile back, like in late June, we thought it was be a good idea to get another dog. Or should I say puppy...'cos they're cute. For some reason we thought it would be a wise idea and we'd be able to give this puppy all the exercise and training a puppy needs.

Well I'll be the first one to admit that we were wrong.

I really don't know what we were thinking.

Many years ago when I first met Steve he had a rottie mutt named Newt. Newt was what brought us together. And then Newt went off and got our neighbours dog pregnant, so we felt bad and agreed to take one of the puppies off their hands - that was when Gus came into our lives. A few years later, it came to our attention that we just couldn't handle 2 dogs, so we decided to give Newt away, as he was more of a challenge than Gus was. We told ourselves then, that we'd never own 2 dogs, at the same time, again.

Fast forward to June of this year...we saw a cute puppy and immediately got all "wimpy eyed" for another dog. Big mistake, HUGE mistake. Lesson learned. So the other day I put an ad on kijiji. Today I got a phone call and this young woman was very interested and today was the only day she could see it, would we be willing to drive to Edmonton to let her check Sally out. So we did. We all went, all 6 of us and drove Sally, who puked in our new van, to Edmonton. The young woman instantly fell in love with her and said she would take her. Awesome! A young woman who would love her and train her the way she deserves. Fast forward 2 hours to when we finally get back home from Edmonton and the phone rings. It's the young womans mother. Apparently the young woman didn't ask permission for the dog and is no longer able to keep it.

You've got to be kidding me.

So sometime tomorrow morning the young womans' mother will be driving Sally back out to our place.

Great. Back to square one.

Anyone want a cute dog?

this proves I have the maturity of a 5 yr old

We've been here over a year and a half now and it still feels like we don't fit in anywhere. We don't fit with this group of people 'cos we don't drink alot and we have 4 kids. We don't fit in with this group of people 'cos we live in the city and have no family roots. We don't fit in with this group of people 'cos we choose to have me stay home. It's starting to feel like we really just don't fit in anywhere!

Which sucks! And is really depressing!

(this is where the 5 yr old comes in...as I pout and stomp my foot)

It's like a mini slap in the face when you continually look at pictures of parties and get-togethers of "people who are who" and know that not only were you not there, but you weren't even invited. And true to many of these, we might not have gone, but the invitation would've been appreciated. You know?

Maybe it's our fault for not inviting said "people who are who" over to our house for BBQ's and such. Or maybe we just give off the aura of being jack asses and that's why no one invites us. Or maybe we have bad BO.

I just don't know.

Whatever the reason, it sure doesn't help me want to stick around, and it sure as hell isn't helping me forget all the good friends we left back in PA (MISS YOU GUYS!!).

The hanging of the tree

Today we decorated our tree. This is the first year we haven't had a real one, and while the smell of the "real" tree will be greatly missed, I do have to admit that the ease of the "fake" one is already enjoyed. And it's funny how the branches on this one are so much stronger than the real ones. Or maybe it's just the fact that in the past, we've always gotten "charlie brown" type trees. Regardless...it looks awesome!

And as Christmas approaches and we hear of family members who's health are diminishing more and more, the season is taking on a whole new meaning. It'll be a total bittersweet "holiday". On the one hand we have the joy of Ishaq's birth and showing him off to family and friends who haven't been able to see him. But on the flipside, this may be the one and only time they do see him.

I keep complaining that this won't be "christmas". It'll be different and it won't be any fun for the kids. But lately I've been thinking that that's okay. It will be different. It'll likely be sad. But there will be joy there too. And that's something that we'll just have to hold on to.

emotional

Lately I've been thinking about the impending birth of my baby and I have to admit, I'm getting a little emotional. The fact that it's my fourth and last (altho' nothing has been made permanent yet) is kind of sobering and yes I know I complained for the first 39 weeks of this pregnancy but now I'm realizing it for the little miracle and wonder that it is.

Wow.

In a couple of days one of God's perfect little creations will be born.

Is there anything cooler?

induce

For some reason that word makes me shiver in fear. And I know there are much worse things that could be happening, and maybe if there was something seriously wrong, I wouldn't mind it so much. But to me God has a plan for this little baby and He knows when it's s'posed to be born, so why mess with that? My dr insists it's "natural" but I really don't think so.

I remember being pregnant with Callah and going over a few days, and then a few days more. Finally it was coming onto 15 days overdue and they were going to induce me on Monday. Saturday I mustered up the courage to drink castor oil and I don't know if that's what did it, or the fact that I walked up and down Central in PA, but whatever the reason I went into natural labour on Sunday night and had her shortly after midnite.

So I'm 39 wks and 3 days, by Monday I'll be 40 and 2, which is definately no 42 wks or anything. But I guess the dr knows more about these sort of things than I do so I'll just have to trust that it's a good thing and pray that the baby comes before then.

Oh yeah and the reason why all this is even happening is b'cos there's protein in my urine which has something to do with my kidneys which is what's making the dr nervous. And I've had high blood pressure every now and then and tied up together, he keeps telling me, could be a very dangerous thing and the only way to solve it is to deliver.

So that's that. Good thing I still have some of that castor oil left! ;oP

gone where no baby and me have gone before...

Well it's official. I am no the heaviest I have ever been during a pregnancy. And it's not like it's the most weight I've gained tho'. You see when I was preggers with Matthias, I gained over 45 lbs. There's nothing like having the month off before the baby comes to lay on the couch, eat potato chips and play Tetris. I never did loose it all afterward. Then came Callah, and I only gained 25 with her knowing that it was going to be hard to loose it afterward. Again, I never even came close. With Keziah I gained 35 or so, I figured I would be okay since it was mostly fruit cravings I had with her, but alas, there must've been a potato chip or poutine in there too. And so finally after having gained over 105 lbs altogether in the last 6 years, it's no wonder I am the heaviest I've ever been. Altho' I did loose the most amount of weight after Keziah. It's amazing how being home alone can motivate a person, especially while the spouse is away getting in the best shape of his life!

And so here I sit, squishing the life out of the chair cushion (I'm sorry!) thinking about all the cool exercises I'm going to try in the new Year. B'cos really, who wants to try and workout during Christmas and New Years? That would just be foolish! So I'm making goals and strategizing on how to loose this weight. I know it's going to take a long time, I'll just have to remind myself of that every now and then when I step on the scale to view my progress. And I think having Steve at home will be, or should be, a huge benefit and help to get me going.

But until then...there's a whole lot of Hallowe'en candy hiding in various corners of my house just waiting to be found! ;o) I might as well enjoy them...right?

validation

As I was scrubbing the toilets this afternoon I thought of my MIL. And how in their last conversation, Steve told her that she was a good mother, and she did a good job raising them and he is the person he is b'cos of her. And as I write that, I guess it's true...he is the person he is b'cos of her, but that's not necessarily a good thing. And then my train of thought ran to how she's being this incredibly bitter person and telling everyone their faults (even when they're only faults to her way of thinking), but on the flip side we are suppossed to be building her up? And then the heartless part of me was like "why is that fair?" To which the caring part said "duh! She's dying!" And then the heartless part said "so?".

And I guess there was a time, before the fighting, and moments throughout that were happy for that family. Steve keeps telling me bout all the parties his Mom would throw. These simple, yet great, birthday parties and end of school parties and parties just to throw a party. And we have proof - there are pictures and video of them all laughing. So when did the madness start? And then I wonder about those critical teen years. He moved out when he was 15, and he's so different from the rest of his siblings that I have to wonder that those 3 years (the others all moved out once they turned 18) had a HUGE part of helping him become the man he is. And of course he moved in with his youth pastor and then another great Christian family. Even still, once in awhile he says he has to make a conscious decision to NOT be like his parents. I mean in one way or another, there's a part of us that doesn't want to be like a part of our parents. My Mom shrieks everytime anyone else is driving and we get too close to another car. Seriously, she shrieks. It's highly annoying and I hope I never get that anxious about the way other people drive when I'm in the car!

Anyway and then she's mentioned she wants to have a salvation funeral, if that's even what you call it. Where we'll be treated to a sermon on how we're all going to hell unless we change our evil ways. Oh joy. That's the way I want my funeral to go (and for the record it sure is NOT! I want everyone to have a raspberry vodka shot and enjoy the memory of me). Unfortunately with a family like this, either way, I'm sure it'll be "something".

On a totally different topic. Ever since Keziah potty trained herself, there's been alot more naked bumbs running around the house. Strange I know. You'd think it would be the other way around?

pregnancy

If you know me at all and have been following my other "posts" (facebook, Twitter) you should know that I really don't like being pregnant. I complain all the time and pregnancy has a way of making me feel depressed, moody and over-all HUGE. Not a good combo. I was thinking last night about how unique everyone's pregnancy stories are. Some women LOVE being pregnant and then once the kid pops out, their life becomes miserable. Others have good pregnancies and good babies. Other's hate every minute of both and live for the child/teen years. Others don't feel the need to get pregnant but instead adopt. And still others don't feel the need for children at all.

Regardless, I was thinking about where I fit in. Obviously it is with the pregnancy haters, but babies and children bring me joy. And lately I've been relaxing a bit here and there (in 30 second intervals) to focus on that joy and actually let myself look forward to this little miracle growing in my belly.

Yes little one, I can honestly say that I can't wait to meet you!

fall

There are many things I like about the fall season, and many things I do not. I LOVE the fact that bugs go bye-bye, that just makes my skin tickle! I also love the changing colours and the smell. True the smell of summer is a good one and the smell of spring is pretty good too. But with the fall there's a coolness to the air and you can smell that. Well at least I think you can. And boy does it smell good.

But one of the things that I don't like goes hand in hand with the above mentioned. The cooling temperatures. It's not quite cool enough yet, but I'm sure the time is quickly approaching for me to close my window at night. I hate the feeling of being cut off. I love to be able to hear the sounds of the night.

I never mentioned this before, but back in June we had our van broken into. For some reason one of the doors was left unlocked, so it was easy access. It was the sound of the van starting that got me out of bed (it's not the quietest starting van in the world) and running to the window I saw the lights and immediately phoned Steve (who was working that night). What happened next was really cool. So I had Steve on the phone and he was immediately phoning the RCMP here in town. Not even 5 minutes later, we saw 2 guys out front sneaking towards our house. I told them where the van was and they very stealth like, made their way out back, found the van empty, secured the area and came back into our yard. It was all very cop-ish, and quite exciting. If it wasn't for the fact that stuff actually got stolen, it would've been a really neat night. Anyway, going back to my original story...

So I'm not a fan of having my window shut and my "ears" closed. I'll enjoy the time I have left and then have to be a little more alert when it's time to close up for winter. Which really shouldn't be a problem since I'm up every 15 mins to pee!!

being pregnant

Lately I've been thinking of how much I complain about being pregnant. You know, my hips hurt, my feet swell, I hate the sound of my hip bones popping, the constant heartburn, the gagging when you brush your teeth, etc (the list could go on, but I think you get the picture). And in the back of my mind I'm always reminded of friends who can't get pregnant and I try to shut up. I'm sure they'd love to feel their bones popping and the pain in the chest when you sit down 'cos the baby is squished up against something internally that causes pain. And in light of what my MIL is going thru (sure she's annoying as anything, but nobody deserves that much pain) there's no way I should be complaining at all. So lesson learned...there's always someone worse off than you. You should be happy.

Still tho'. I can honestly say that I'll be glad when it's all over and I'm glad that it should (in theory) be the last one.

heading out

The weekend with the MIL went pretty well considering. I'm not sure if it was the fact that she was feeling more and more pain as the weekend progressed or it was just us, but she was getting more and more judgemental as the time went on. So by the time they left on Monday, I heaved a sigh of relief, my kids ran for the TV (I swear we're not actually addicted!) and Steve went for a beer.

The next day we went for our 20 wk ultrasound. We were really disappointed. I mean I know it's our 4th and all, but it's still a super special event. So when the technician didn't let Steve come in we were a little miffed. And when he was finally allowed in and we were given a "run thru" again we were disappointed. Not at all like the ultrasounds we had in PA. The guy was like "here's the head, the heart and the feet." That was it. The tech we had with Kez was awesome. She went over every little inch of her and we could marvel at her little toes and fingers! It was the coolest thing! This was so not. Apparently it's the law here. Yeah....whatever.

But then we were off to Edmonton to celebrate out 8th wedding anniversary. Nothing says I Love You like going to see Transformers 2 followed by a trip to IKEA and finally steak at The Keg. My only complaint of the three was that we were at The Keg when the doors opened at 4, and there was still a 10 minute wait. WHAT?! You just opened for pete's sake! But whatever, the food was delicious and even tho' my daquiri was a virgin, it still felt good to drink again! :o)

So now in a few days the kids and I embark on our holiday. Of the 3 weeks we'll be gone, Steve will join us for 3 days. So I plan on spending those 3 days relaxing and enjoying his company. It totally sucks that he can't get time off this summer, but I'm already looking forward to having him around for 9 months after the baby is born. Of course, come Jan/Feb I'll probably be so ready to kick him out back to work! But we'll see.

And so I'm finishing up some laundry, packing up bags and coolers for our 3 days camp trip, then it's off to Sk for a whirlwind trip to visit my side of the family. I just hope Arborfield knows what's coming!!

See ya on the flip side!

stress

Last Saturday we were at the kids soccer tournament when a woman showed up with 2 little chocolate lab puppies. She said she had 9 of them at home that she was trying to get rid of...would we want one? Of course I would! I'm thinking. But in reality I know there's no way of convincing Steve. So a few hours later, Kez is completely entranced by these puppies and Steve is thinking...hmmm...maybe. So thinking they're "free" (she said "giving away") we went over to ask a few questions. Turns out they're $400!!! I'm like WHAT??!! And I'm sorry if you've paid this much for a dog in the past or think it's okay, but I...do....not. I think it's insane to charge people that much money for a dog just b'cos it has some papers. Whoop de doo!! And who in their right mind would pay that much $$ for a dog!? I mean really?? I can think of a whole crap load of stuff I'd rather spend $400 on than a dog.

So anyway needless to say we didn't get THAT puppy. :o)

Since I had Steve agreeing to get a puppy I knew I had to act fast if we were actually going to get one. So as luck would have it, that same day was the city's pioneer days parade. And one of the "floats" were puppies from the local pound. So I phoned around and yes they had 2 females left and yes they were open till 5 pm. So we hauled everyone over to the pound to look at the puppies and there was one there with a red collar that let the girls moosh her face in a million different directions and wouldn't leave the fence until the kids did. So we agreed that if the puppy was still there early next week we would get it.

Of course, leaving a person to think over their decisions over a weekend is never a good thing.

Come Tuesday the girls pleaded and I negotiated and now we have a puppy.

How quickly the "puppy love" can fade. Now I'm thinking I made a huge mistake. Maybe we're just not ready. We're going on a quick camp trip in a few weeks and trying to find a place for one dog, let alone a dog and a new puppy will be a challenge. So far Gus is NOT pleased with the new puppy and I find myself wondering if we really deserve another animal to look after.

So that's one stress.

Then the MIL is coming this weekend. I don't know when and not sure for how long, but she's coming. We've come to realize that we just can't talk about ANYTHING with her. Not school, music, movies, kids activities, holidays, church, etc. There's really quite a list. And Steve is on the cleaning wrampage b'cos she went over to his brothers house on Father's Day and they were "wowed" (which is bizarre b'cos they just starting speaking to each other after a stupid 7 month hiatus over a stupid, trivial dispute) so now Steve feels like he has to live up to that or something, and of course I'm like, who gives a flying duck? Every time she comes I secretly try to think of different scenerios that would cause us to freak and kick them out of our house and never to come back again. Sigh - unfortunately what a relief that would be!! So I'm stressing over that. We got tonnes of activities lined up for this weekend, with friends visiting and wind-up BBQ's and I just don't want them to come with us.

So here's to stressful family, summer holidays, and puppies!!!

one pants size down

I love going to the doctor and having them tell you that you are in fact, actually loosing a few pounds. There's nothing greater, especially when a few minutes later, he says the baby is measuring bigger than "normal". And what is normal anyway? They said Keziah was measuring large too before I had her and she wound up being my smallest! So I don't really put any...what's the word?...I have no idea, but hopefully you know what I mean...in what they say.

Then this morning I had to return a pair of maternity shorts for a size smaller. There is no greater way to begin a morning!

stupid thing

So the stupid thing is ...

...well I mean there are quite a few "stupid things" in my life lately. I could say the fact that I'm loosing a few pounds here and there, while still having more fat than baby bump around my middle, and the baby already registering as "large" is kinda stupid. The fact that I LOVE eating KFC poutine even tho' I know it's like crap...and it's $4.50 to boot and soooo "good" for me! And I have this blog and never use it. Altho' today I felt a yearning, which is ridiculous 'cos look at what I'm writing about?

a new age

Tomorrow my baby turns 2. I can't believe she's 2. So much has happened in those 2 years that they seem like they've flown right by. And I find myself being reminiscent (like I seem to be alot these days...must be the air here or something). We'd like another baby, and I was thinking tonite, while a 4th is nowhere on the horizon yet, I'm really going to miss that whole stage. And it wouldn't be that bad to keep going...would it? If the idea is even a slight notion...does that mean you're not done having kids? I don't even like being pregnant! If it's at all possible to feel like a whole universe, that pretty much sums up how I feel pregnant. A whale just isn't big enough.

I remember a friend of mine had her 4th baby last year and she knew it was going to be her last one. So she tried to treasure every moment of that pregnancy. A friend of mine now is pregnant, and just shared some photos of her little bump. It made me smile and cry at the same time.

And it's not that I regret anything I did or didn't do to remember the previous 3 pregnancy's, but this next time (Lord willing) I will love it that little bit more, and take a few more whalish pictures, and enjoy the bone cracking and the constant urination. I will thank God everyday for that little miracle.

But for now, I will treasure the joys I have. Including this little angel!



Happy Birthday Keziah!

(and for the record, that's shaving cream on her face!)

One week

Yesterday I saw this movie. The movie itself was okay. I think the dying, must go on adventure thing has been overdone. But the thing that I LOVED about it, was that it's Canadian. From the rolling of a Tim's cup, to the idea of biking across Canada for a case of beer with a friend, to the music. It wreaked Canada. I. loved. it.

You can check out the official site here. And while your at it, submit a prairie picture....Saskatchewan isn't even on the map! And we all know how beautiful it is!

Revelation

The idea is this: set your Ipod/mp3 player/iTunes/Windows Media Player/what have you on “shuffle” and then answer each question with the various songs that come up as you skip through. You cannot cheat: the first song goes with the first question; the second, with the second; and so on. The last song is to be the title of the post.

The Meme (comments in italics)

1.What do your friends say about you? The Pretender - Foo Fighters
ha ha...ha....ha...really?

2.How would your coworkers describe you? Love Remains the Same - Gavin Rosdale
not bad, I'll take that as steady and unchanging...

3.How would you describe yourself? What I've Done - Linkin' Park
should be what have I done?

4.What do you like in a romantic partner? Slow Down - Third Day
oh yeah...

5.How do you feel today? Shake It - Metro Station
shaken

6.What is your life’s purpose? Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder

7.What is your motto? give love - Third Day
I'll agree with that!

8. What do you think about the most? Sing Praises - Third Day
I wish!

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation? one of these things first - Nick Drake
true true

10.What do you think of your first love/date? Hell Ya - Rev Theory
haha...with my husband? yes. First date? no.

11. What is your life story? stay home - self
but isn't that every SAHM's?

12. What did you do yesterday? I just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You - Colin Hay

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love? My Beloved Monster - Eels
lol!! I love it!!

14. What describes your wedding? take it all - Third Day
think clean!

15. What will they play at your funeral? Full Moon - The Black Ghosts

16. What is your obsession? When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

17. What is your biggest fear? Wire - Third Day

18. What is your biggest secret? Semi- Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
yes that's right...I'm a druggie....shhhh...don't tell my husband!

19. What is your biggest turn-on? A Long December - Counting Crows
Matthias was born in September...

20. How do you describe your friends? Innocent - Third Day

21. What would you do with a million dollars? Ballad of The Beaconsfield Miners - Foo Fighters
I would get someone to teach me how to play this song!

22. What is your opinion of sex? caring is creepy -the shins

23. What is your biggest regret? only living boy in New York - Simon and Garfunkel

24. What would you rather be doing right now? Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
*cough cough* uh no.

25. What is your biggest turn off? i will always be true - Third Day
exact opposite actually

26. How do you start your morning? Let it Die - Foo Fighters
on occasion

27. What Describes your birth? Decode - Paramore

28. What is a typical weekend for you? Rockin' The Suburbs - Ben Folds Five
oh yeah baby!!

29. What do you do at work? Desire - U2
on days off maybe...

30. How would your significant other describe you? blue eyes - cary brothers
better not be!

31. How would your parents describe you? Times Like These - Foo Fighters
haha, yes I was a bit of a problem...

32. What do you think about in the bathroom? Everything - Micheal Buble
agreed!

33. What would be a good theme song to play whenever you walk into a room? Into the Fire - Sarah McLachlan

34. How do you like to end your day before bed? I Caught Myself - Paramore

35. What will you post this list as? Revelation - Third Day

I had a dream...

Last night I was full of dreams. Something that doesn't happen very often, at least not that I remember. In one of them I was lucky enough to have the Jolie-Pitts come for a sleep over. It was only Brad, Angie and the 4 oldest, but still exciting nonetheless. The only weird thing was that I was still living with my parents and my Uncle Gary was still alive (he died back in '96). It was cool 'cos we made Brad sleep on the couch.

Yeah...so anyway...I've also decided to give up my Twilight books for lent. You may be thinking, big deal? Well it is a big deal and I hope that with my new "free time" I'll be able to get my focus back on God...and if that means reading the Bible while doing my "business" so be it!

And you may be happy to know that I've managed to wash the walls on my top 2 floors (if you don't know, I live in a 4 level split). So half done! Yay for me! Now to accomplish the rest of my "to do" list...

The Disiduata

Last week I was tearing the house apart looking for my chord book, which I didn't find, but I found a bunch of quotes and things that I had written out into a notebook. One of them was "The Disiduata". I have no idea where this came from but a long time ago I read it somewhere enough to ask whoever owned it to photocopy it for me (there was a note from the owner) and send it to me. And so for your reading enjoyment...

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. If you compare yourself with other, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

hmmmm....

I've been feeling kinda blah lately. I'm going to chalk that up to mid-winter blues. And I know that everyone around here is feeling it too. Matt said, again, this morning how he can't wait for summer...or at least till it's warmer so he doesn't have to wear all his "winter junk" anymore! I couldn't agree more. And so while the snow is continuing to fall outside, I'm thinking some sort of change is in order. I need a project or something to keep me going till spring. A friend of mine said that she's going to start her spring cleaning...one room at a time. While that doesn't sound nearly as appetizing as say...painting a mural or going on a fan-tabulous trip somewhere...it should keep me busy doing something for awhile. I don't think the walls have ever been washed in this house and that gives me the creeps. I'm surprised I've lived with it this long. And while I don't know if I'll be able to actually do the one room at a time thing (once started I tend to go hardcore) I'm going to give 'er a try.

And I'm determined to learn how to play this song on guitar. I found the chords and found out how to play the chords (it's slowly coming back to me) so in theory it should only take me...oh, I'd say a month or so.

And I finally finished my crochet cap for Kez, now I've started a matching one for Callah.

And I just need some primer then I can start painting the spare room for Matthias' "big move"...but there's no real rush for this as a)I'm still not prego (and yes we're trying) and b)it's more a 7th birthday surprise for the boy than anything.

Of course I could do the classic "new haircut" kind of thing. But I'm seriously trying to grow it out long again, and it's taking forever.

So I guess there's really lots to do, I just need to put down my book (and yes, I'm reading the series again) and get doing.