Saturday, October 24, 2009


As I was scrubbing the toilets this afternoon I thought of my MIL. And how in their last conversation, Steve told her that she was a good mother, and she did a good job raising them and he is the person he is b'cos of her. And as I write that, I guess it's true...he is the person he is b'cos of her, but that's not necessarily a good thing. And then my train of thought ran to how she's being this incredibly bitter person and telling everyone their faults (even when they're only faults to her way of thinking), but on the flip side we are suppossed to be building her up? And then the heartless part of me was like "why is that fair?" To which the caring part said "duh! She's dying!" And then the heartless part said "so?".

And I guess there was a time, before the fighting, and moments throughout that were happy for that family. Steve keeps telling me bout all the parties his Mom would throw. These simple, yet great, birthday parties and end of school parties and parties just to throw a party. And we have proof - there are pictures and video of them all laughing. So when did the madness start? And then I wonder about those critical teen years. He moved out when he was 15, and he's so different from the rest of his siblings that I have to wonder that those 3 years (the others all moved out once they turned 18) had a HUGE part of helping him become the man he is. And of course he moved in with his youth pastor and then another great Christian family. Even still, once in awhile he says he has to make a conscious decision to NOT be like his parents. I mean in one way or another, there's a part of us that doesn't want to be like a part of our parents. My Mom shrieks everytime anyone else is driving and we get too close to another car. Seriously, she shrieks. It's highly annoying and I hope I never get that anxious about the way other people drive when I'm in the car!

Anyway and then she's mentioned she wants to have a salvation funeral, if that's even what you call it. Where we'll be treated to a sermon on how we're all going to hell unless we change our evil ways. Oh joy. That's the way I want my funeral to go (and for the record it sure is NOT! I want everyone to have a raspberry vodka shot and enjoy the memory of me). Unfortunately with a family like this, either way, I'm sure it'll be "something".

On a totally different topic. Ever since Keziah potty trained herself, there's been alot more naked bumbs running around the house. Strange I know. You'd think it would be the other way around?