Thursday, August 25, 2005

Marriage

The "M" word. A few hours ago I would've said it was a mistake. "Muh...who needs it? You'd be happier without it." The dust has settled since, we've talked it out and now, really and truly, I could go either way.

"It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure." Herbert Samuel
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. -Ephesians 5:21
I read somewhere that once you bring the word "divorce" into your vocabulary, it's always there, hanging around in the back of your mind. I've realized you can't be selfish in a marriage. There's no room for it. At all. "Submit" is also a REALLY tough word. I grew up in the women-era. I had a poster of a woman wearing a bandanna, with her shirt sleeve rolled up, showing off her bicep muscles, saying, "You can do it!" Needless to say, that's another lesson I'm still struggling with.

When my husband and I got married we rec'd this book "Bible Promises to Treasure for Newlyweds". That's what I'm reading from now. Whenever things just don't make sense, God usually does.

"Bless us, Lord, as we weather this family conflict. We all have certain needs to be met, certain ways of trying to fulfill our dreams. Yet each of us seeks this one basic thing in the midst of it all: Love. Simply love. " Gary Wilde
If only it was that easy.
"The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time. " John Powell
"A teenage girl was examining her grandmother's wedding ring. The girl said, "Wow, what heavy and cumbersome rings those were fifty year ago." The grandmother replied, "That's true, but don't forget that in my day they were made to last a lifetime." Anonymous
Hmmm...for some reason that one hits me tonite. Why does it have to be so hard sometimes? I guess tho', like the old saying goes, nothing worth having comes easily. But still...man...

"A wedding is not a marriage. A wedding is only the beginning of an undertaking that may or may not, someday, develop into a marriage. What the couple have on their wedding day is not the key to a beautiful garden, but just a vacant lot and a few gardening tools." David & Vera Mace

(At the moment I'm incredibly perturbed. I had previously written beyond this point and somehow just lost it. Oh happy day!)

"Your home can be a place for dying or living, for wilting or blooming, for anxiety or peace, for discouragement or affirmation, for criticism or approval, for profane disregard or reverence, for suspicion or trust, for blame or forgiveness, for alienation or closeness, for violation or respect, for carelessness or caring. By your daily choices, you will make your home what you want it to be." Carole Streeter
I'd like to be one of those couples, some 50+ years down the road, that laugh, giggle and hold hands. The kind that, on an airplane the stewardess would ask if they're newlyweds. The kind that young couples, like myself, would look up to. I wish I could impart some words of wisdom. Of course I'm barely making it thru myself. So I guess you could take heart in the fact that your not alone. Unless of course, bizarely I'm the only one going thru this. In which case, I'll still take heart in not being alone. I have God.

"God gives burdens, also shoulders." Yiddish proverb
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:9-12