Saturday, August 13, 2005

Second Guessing

I wonder if that comes with being female? Always second guessing yourself. Wondering if it's something your doing, or the fault of the other person? Wondering if your making the right decisions concerning your marriage? Kids? Work? Life in general?

I have no answers for the questions above. Sometimes I wonder if it's my stint in life to just continually ask questions and one day receive answers. All I really know for certain right now is that God loves me, He's watching me and that is a Pepsi slurpee in a Sponge Bob cup.

My husband and I met and married in 5 months. We met, February 14, 2001. We were married that June. Sometimes I wonder if life would've been easier and less stressful if we had waited to get to know each other before we got married. Then there are those times when I think waiting would've been foolish. Why wait when you just know there's no one else? Again, no answer.

6 months after we were married, we found out I was pregnant. Total surprise! Would things have been different if we had waited the 3 years we had "planned" on waiting, before having kids? No answer.

I know you shouldn't dwell on the past and the "if only's" in life. And I know I shouldn't worry about the future. Our youth's theme this summer is from Matthew 6. Where it says "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." And God will take care of everything. It's hard, really hard to wrap your mind around that statement. God will take care of everything. But if you can, it's an amazing relief. The trick is to continually remind yourself of that. And for us to remind eachother of that as well. I'm amazed sometimes when I hear about all of us Mom's who feel "alone" or bored or something. If every Mom who felt that way, met for coffee one afternoon, they'd need a HUGE hall to fit us all in!!

31 more sleeps!