Thursday, June 08, 2006

Confession time

That's right. I... am... a bear. And I sure feel like it this morning. After a grumpy, moody night (where alcohol, buttery popcorn and a Hugh Grant movie were involved) I can honestly say that I am still in a moody funk. I admit that I've always struggled with a bit of depression. And I REALLY hate that. I know that it's a totally selfish thing to do and completely not what a "child" of God should do. Regretably tho', I do. It comes in complete waves. Doesn't last very long, but when it comes, it comes and whoa!! Look out!!

So last night my bible study was suddenly cancelled. We had a free babysitter that we didn't want to let go to waste, so I called up a friend and we went to see The Break-Up. (Here's another little confession. 8 years ago I had a poster of Vince Vaughn where he was coming out of a pool and his dress shirt was clinging to his body.) I thought it was really good. Something every husband should go see. See in the movie, Jenn's character doesn't feel appreciated of all the things that she does (willingly without thinking) for Vince's character. (LIGHT BULB MOMENT) Of course I foolishly thought of my own marriage and how under-appreciated I felt. That led to the feeling that I should be the one appreciative of Steve for even wanting to marry a schmuck like myself. Which inturn led to a landslide of other negative thoughts too shameful to mention.

And where do I go to from here? I know all the sunday school answers and I know that this too shall pass. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I think I'll just leave off here for now