Thursday, October 11, 2007

yeah...I got nothing...

Sometimes thinking of something clever to write as the "title" is the hardest part.

I love listening to Galaxy's celtic station. I swear I was born about 100 years too late (my great great grandfather or something was from Scotland) and of course on the wrong continent 'cos I love anything to do with anything celtic. There are times when I don't feel like listening to rock, and times when CBC radio makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out, but no matter how I'm feeling I'm finding I can always turn that station on and listen. It soothes my headaches, calms my throbbing, smokin' tempers and makes me tap my feet and want to jig when I'm in a good mood to start. You gotta give it a listen if you never have before. Ch 742 on Galaxy.

Alot of people seem to be on the topic of love lately. My 'group' (we're not a bible study group, but we're not a book group...what do we call ourselves again?) is reading a book by Henri Nouwen right now and the topic we're stuck on is Joy. Looking back over my life (and I was thinking about this the other night. I'm reading this quiet moments for Mothers book and the first story was about how mother's make memorable moments for our children that last a lifetime and sadly, when I look back on my life all I remember or think of now is all the heartache I caused my Mother and the complete pain in the arse I was...not the kind of memories I want to remember, which got me thinking about the memories I'm creating for my children. Do I want them remembering me as the grouchy, busy Mom who never plays with them and spanks them and stuff? Not exactly. Wake up Lisa! Time to change roles!) there were times of pure joy. They may seem few and far between, but they're there. The one that always pops into my head first was on a sunny day in March of 2001. I was seeing Steve (we hadn't dated yet, just alot of hanging out) and I was walking to his house from my Grandma's apartment. I was rounding the corner of 4th Ave and Marquis (by Nutter's) when I felt a sense of complete peace and contentment. Joy. At that moment I knew nothing could go wrong. Nothing was going to hurt or harm me. All was right with the world. I was invincible. Even now when I think about it, the kids could be screaming and freakin' out (luckily they're not) and for a few simple seconds I'd still feel that sense of pure joy. I don't know if love had everything to do with it, I'm sure it helped, as I'm also sure in some way the two are entwined. But that was a moment of great joy to me that will forever stick out in my memory.

This morning the kids and I went to another Mom's house for a visit. This is something I do rarely, but you know what? I loved it! I've had invites for playdates before, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "yeah sure, they're just offering to be nice, but they don't really want my gang to all come over" and I usually wind up sitting at home feeling sad and depressed for myself 'cos I have no friends. Then I finally gather up some balls and go to a friends house and have a great time! I wonder why we do that? Why do we choose to wallow in our own self pity, internally screaming out for a break and a friendship, when all around us other Mother's are thinking and doing the same thing? Or am I the only one? If that's the case, please don't tell me, just go along with my little thought and agree. So you know what? My house may be small, but if anyone wants to come over, please come! I have a bucketfull of rockets and a tin of Starbucks coffee (and the other usual drinks altho' I'm out of rum, you may have to wait a few days if you want rum). Anyway, to that Mom who had us over (she didn't really even invite us, we kinda invited ourselves)...thank you. You have no idea what that meant to me. Thanx.

And for awhile there it was snowing. I painted my toenails blue so that when I wear my flip flops they'll blend in with the colour of my frozen toes, but now that it's snowing I may just have to put away my 'classy' footgear for another 8 months. Oh the woe of having to wear socks and shoes again...

The next few weeks at Mom's are sure not to be missed (is that right? That doesn't sound right). The 16th is a marriage talk by Amy Hollands. Amy has been thru alot emotionally dealing with miscarriages and loss of babies. Promises to be a very good heartfelt morning. Then it's the start of our video series "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours "by Kevin Leman. And closing out October is our feature with therapist Crystal Debeck. If you've ever jumped and lost your bladder you won't want to miss this talk. So come check us out Tuesday mornings starting at 9:30 at the Alliance Church (corner of 6th Ave.W and 28th).