Wednesday, January 10, 2007

And so it begins

There's nothing like trying to have a relaxing nap when you start feeling little Braxton Hicks . Luckily they only last about 30 mins and were pretty tame. I guess it's about that time. Is there a time? 30 weeks and counting. I told Steve the other night, 10 weeks to go. Somehow that makes it seem like it's alot sooner than saying almost 8 months. 10

In writing this marriage story for Mom's Morning Out I'm realizing that with both previous kids, in some way or another, I've jipped them of joy. With Matthias, we weren't planning on having kids for 3 years after we got married. 6 months after however, we found out we were pregnant. It was a total shock and not something we were looking forward to at all. So in that way, I feel badly like I've robbed him of my happiness over the occasion. Of course now, I couldn't imagine NOT having him and he brings me more joy than ever thought possible. Same with Callah, while I was looking forward to her birth, when she finally came (15 days overdue) I had postpardum and wanted nothing to do with her for the first few days (even weeks) again I feel like I robbed her of the joy over her birth. And of course, she's a complete cutey now that I love to bits.

So when it comes to this little baby, while I'm totally excited over the soon to be birth, I pray that I will remain that way afterwards and not feel so badly about jipping this child of any sort of happiness.